January
This month has been full. Not a moment has gone by where boredom has been a passing thought. I love living that way though because it means living to the full, living abundantly.
Flashback to the New Year
I got some cool film back from Christmas break. Here is what I love about film - it captures the light and people just as they are. The coloring is beautiful and I never edit them. I started taking film photos about a year ago with my dad’s old film camera. Since then I bought a Nikon FM2 and have shot around 12 rolls, one a month. A few of them have come out blank, a few I ruined trying to incorrectly load or remove them from my camera. It took a long time to even figure out how the stupid process worked. But my goal in 2016 was to figure it out. I want to pat myself on the back for this small victory. I want to recognize the goals I have set and achieved, because it is easy to move though life unaware of your growth or forgetting to celebrate the victories. I am not a pro, very much still learning. But we should all strive for something and remember to celebrate.
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This is Water
Oh wow. First please take 5-10 minutes to read this — a transcription of the 2005 Kenyon Commencement Address written and delivered by David Foster Wallace. It's worth it I promise.
THIS IS WATER Raise your hand if you feel like you are the absolute center of the universe. (Insert raising hand emoji here). Did you feel like you’ve been in that grocery store scene 1,000 times? I love going to the grocery store. I walk up and down every aisle at least twice to make sure I didn’t miss anything. But there are always the people who really ruin my experience. People who are loud, ADHD, taking up too much space, talking on the phone in sheer oblivion. But are they the ones ruining it or am I allowing them to ruin it? If you know me well, you know I am easily irritated and have a short temper. That is my default setting. A really shitty and unfortunate default setting. Living that way though only lessens my quality of life. It only hurts me. But the truth is that it is painstakingly difficult to break free of you default setting. I say all of this as I am on a plane to Washington DC. This morning I had a horrible attitude with my roommates because I hate traveling in groups. I am a total diva at the airport because I HATE carry on bags and clutter. I don’t like confined spaces or loud talkers or long lines. And guess what… I reverted to my default setting all morning. I was the center of the universe. Would it have been a better morning if I chose to embrace the day with a good attitude and different mindset? Absolutely. “And the world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the world of men and money and power hums along quite nicely on the fuel of fear and contempt and frustration and craving the worship of self… The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom.” To think about this short and precious life we have as a rat race is one of the most depressing things I can imagine. But we all do it. I want to break the cycle, think differently, live a more purposeful life. |
MLK
Skiing in Oregon. Just when I thought this beautiful state couldn’t offer much more, we found Mt Bachelor. We got an AirBnB in Bend, OR which is a magical little town. Grady and Adeline came in town which made the trip even better. I would like to say that I upgraded my ski level status a few points. Grady and Carter were basically created for snow sports. Everyone else held their own.
Other fun evens included tubing at Mount Tabour when it snowed A FOOT in Portland. This day was unreal. Hundreds of people gathered at the foot of this giant hill at Mount Tabour and watched as people tubed, sledded, mattress surfed, etc. one by one. It was one of those rare moments when nobody considered anybody a stranger and each person felt bonded to the next by the snow and beauty around us. Pictures say it better. |
Abbey & Politics?
Note: Click at your own risk
This has been a challenge for me the past few months. I live in one of the most liberal cities in America, Portland. I spent most of my life in arguably the most conservative city in America, Midland. Where does that leave me? Well I feel like I am fortunate to have a personal understanding of people on both sides of this miserable debate. People on the left can’t understand the people on the right. The people on the right can’t understand the people on the left.
On one side I see left leaning people here who want justice for women, minorities, and immigrants. I see people who are hurting and feel that strides towards the equality of women are being compromised by the new Power. They feel like a door has opened for more oppression, more objectification, more discrimination in the workplace. I can see where and why they feel that and I hurt for them. They are upset that the refugees coming from the Middle East are not welcome here. They are ashamed to be a part of this current America.
On the other side I see my friends and family back in Texas happy for new Republican Power. Very few of them are on fire for Trump, but their interest for lower taxes, national security, pro-life and many more are being satisfied. They do not want women to feel unequal or degraded. They do not hate Middle Easterners. They value national security and getting our country in order, creating systems before letting down borders to immigrants (for now). They value jobs for Americans and everyone paying a fair share of taxes. Most are excited for the idea of gender equality... Not a woman’s world or a man’s world, but gearing towards a world of respect for both. I understand this. I was raised this way and I still resonate with this a lot.
On both sides we assume that everyone is the same, that we have all had the same life experiences which have formed us. The fact is, we are all so astonishingly different. If you’ve had negative experiences with immigrants you will think one thing. If you haven’t, you will think another. Simply where you live will effect how you see the issue of immigration, but we have to remember that not everyone has had these experiences, that we are not one in the same. If your best friend from high school is gay, you will hope that he is treated and respected the same as any other human, with equal rights. If you haven’t personally been exposed to someone with a different sexual orientation, ethnicity, or belief system, you will not be as personally tied to these issues.
Many of my friends participated in the Women’s March on January 21st. Most marched because they believed in the cause. They wanted to join the 2-3 million people in the US (the most to participate in a march in US history) in setting a tone for the hopes and expectations for women’s rights in America. Many marched for other reasons close to them. Personally I support them in their views and interests and believe that their personal experiences have formed their views in a way that led them to march. Truth be told, I am partly frustrated by the strong voice that women will conquer. That "the future is female.” Why can’t the future just be human? Why can’t men respect women and women respect men. Instead of fighting this with grace and equality, I see people getting scrappy, frustrated, angry, and making this a match of: My horse is bigger than yours.
I find equal frustration in people who oppose this march calling it a tantrum or outburst... Claiming that everyone who marched is a bunch of bandwagon idiots. Those who say that most of these white privileged women have no clue what oppression even means. People that don’t take the time to learn or listen to the stories, views, reasons, or purpose of their march.
I see both sides, I respect the people, the views, the experiences on both sides. I write this because I needed to verbally process and try to appeal in some way that we are all humans, all broken, all sinners, all flawed, all selfish, all feelers, thinkers, lovers, haters. How can we find peace if we are quick to judge and hate. How can we find equality pushing for domination. How can we be informed when every news source is biased, when social media is full of lies and uninformed users. What can we do, especially you believers to make this better, to serve your neighbors, the poor, the widows… to love those who are hardest to love. To pray and respect the President that has been put before us. I find this to be a time when we can make more of a difference, where we (the church) can press in and pick up the pieces that have been shattered.
If you made it this far, I appreciate you reading. I would love your thoughts.
VIP experience
Okay so we were VIP’s for 30 minutes. LG and I were determined to get into the sold out Bear’s Den show at Doug Fir Lounge. After snooping around for a back door, there it was — glowing as though it was unlocked and wide open as a gift from God. We opened the door in unbelief to the backstage of this concert. From the side stage we watched Gil Landry preform Genevieve and everything was right in the world. We held flashlights and lit the ground as we half heartedly pretended to work there. Soon enough our cover was blown and security escorted us out. They allowed us to watch from the crowd at least, which was above and beyond what we bargained for. All in all I would like to formally apologize to Bear’s Den and Doug Fir Lounge… But can’t promise that it won’t happen again. I am 23, my immature time clock is ticking and soon I will have to leave my childlike antics at home. But for now I am a 30 minute VIP.
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You’re on a plane to DC?
Yes. We are heading currently to the national prayer breakfast in Washington DC. From what I understand there will be a lot of important people there from all over the world. We are helping run it and have a tight schedule to attend to, but I think it will be an amazing experience. A full report to come. And by a full report I mean a full roll of film from my disposable camera.
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Damn this was long.